Since childhood I’ve had trouble making decisions and sticking to them. I’d always second guess myself.
From little things like choosing between an apple and an orange to big decisions like moving on from a job.
How freeing it has been in the past four years to learn indecision and doubt don’t serve me.
And that I am capable of making decisions and having my own back.
Having my own back means I honor my decisions, I stick to them, I don’t turn back.
My brain still wants to second guess: “Was this the right decision?”
But I have stopped paying attention.
I know you can relate to these doubts because I am always hearing people say things like, “I don’t know what to do. Should I retire early?…” And they just start spinning on all the possible scenarios.
Or, “I wonder if I had stayed where I was working, things would have been better.”
Have your own back. Be confident in your decision. Love your decision. Know that there is not a right or wrong decision.
Have your own back means instead of focusing on the “what if’s,” you focus your energy on carrying out your decision.
We train our brains to make decisions when we practice this.
And we build resilience and strength through making decisions.
We learn by making mistakes and by doing. This is simply how life works.
To me that’s freeing. Embracing this truth enabled me to move forward in life, from a job where I was dissatisfied, to living my dream to help educate people on healthy eating and living.
I am getting comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them.
I am getting comfortable knowing that I might have regret or be embarrassed because that is what it takes to grow my business. The uncomfortable feelings will pass.
Not making decisions means you are not moving forward, which means you are not fulfilling your dreams.
Having your own back means you love and honor your decisions, and you keep the commitments you make to yourself and others.
- If you told yourself that you are not going to have dessert when you go to your small group, then honor that decision. Don’t go back on your word. It doesn’t matter what others think.
- If you scheduled to clean the bathroom on Saturday morning, don’t let something else stand in the way, honor that decision.
- If you scheduled a lunch date with your girlfriend, keep the commitment.
Have your own back means you don’t beat yourself up. But you accept who you are and where you are right now.
- I keep forgetting to take my supplements.
- I can’t seem to lose weight. My clothes don’t fit.
- My office is such a mess. There are papers everywhere.
Don’t let these thoughts mean something negative about you. They’re just observations.
Have your own back also means you challenge those thoughts and beliefs about yourself that may not be true.
Thoughts such as:
- I should have done more. I need to get more done.
- I am too timid.
- I might come across as arrogant or conceded if I take a leadership role.
- I don’t have the right skill set.
- I am not a good wife.
Are these true?
Have your own back means you don’t let the past shape your future.
Just because you did not do something in the past, does NOT mean you are not capable of it in the future.
- Just because you could not lose weight in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t in the future.
- Just because you didn’t stand up for yourself in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t in the future.
- Just because you struggled in honoring your decisions in the past, doesn’t mean you are not capable of it in the future.
What you have done in the past is over and done with. Don’t bring it to the present anymore than necessary. You get to success by looking to what you want and you feel the emotion which is positive, spacious, and hopeful. You start making your plans out of this place, not the closed place of what didn’t work or went wrong.
Have your own back means you recognize that your thoughts dictate your emotions. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You always have choices.
How you’re feeling will impact your decisions. So, take note of how you’re feeling when faced with a decision. Then ask yourself, “what are the thoughts that are driving that emotion?”
Anxiety, fear, frustration, and anger are less than optimal emotions for making decisions.
More ideal are calm, empowered, and confident.
The thoughts that get us to these more optimal emotions are:
- “I am just going to decide and move forward.”
- “There are no right or wrong decisions.”
- “The only way to know is by doing.”
- “I am capable of redirecting if this direction doesn’t seem right.”
- “I got my own back.”
Being indecisive is exhausting.
Decision making is freeing. It propels you forward.
Our thoughts dictate our emotions/feelings. So, decide how you want to feel and live your live.
And have your own back!
You are precious!
Peace and grace,
4 thoughts on “Can you love and honor your decisions and have your own back?”
Hi Karen – thank you for encouraging comments on “having our own backs.” As an older woman with a big complicated family and involvement in other people’s lives, I have to make an effort to talk to myself, not listen to myself, and to tell myself the truth. Prob. 3:5-6
You are so welcome. Remembering to stay grounded in the truth is important.
“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians: 8-9
This is a really great and encouraging message on decision making Karen. It’s so true. My thought is, what about the case of giving a testimony on something in the past that was negative, as a means of hopefully blessing others?
That is an awesome question/thought? I think sharing how we handled past situations (in which we did make a mistake or didn’t have “ideal” results) and sharing how we handled it and how we grew as a person can bless and encourage others.