You’ve done well all day managing your diet, eating well, keeping on track with the many tasks at hand.
But evening comes, and you start craving ice cream or chips or cereal or a bowl of warm popcorn.
And the next thing you know, you’re indulging “unwantingly.”
Can you relate to this scenario?
You’re not alone.
For many women, nighttime is when it all falls apart, and the self-sabotage cycle revs up.
We have many responsibilities and a lot on our plates (no pun intended).
We often don’t recognize the agitation brewing throughout the day or over days.
The agitation being stress, grief, sadness, fear, worry, shame, embarrassment, overwhelm, burnout…
Subconsciously, we’re looking for something to provide relief. Food or a glass of wine can provide that quick, easy, TEMPORARY relief.
This is a way of checking out, of avoiding tending to your feelings and emotions.
Food may not be your go-to.
You may find yourself wandering around the house aimlessly, mindlessly scrolling on the internet, plopping in front of the TV, indulging in negative self-talk, shopping, or buffering in some other way, shape or form.
And checking out, as I am calling it, doesn’t just happen at night. Although it more commonly occurs as I outlined above, it can happen anytime.
Regardless of when you find yourself in this state, this is when you need an emotional Check In.
STOP!
Ask yourself these five questions:
- “How am I feeling right now? What’s going on with you, Karen?”
- “What do I need right now?” Ask God, “What do I need right now?” Let Him tell you. He knows best. Perhaps you’re tired and just need to go to bed. Or you need to do some breathing or tapping or go for a walk or call a friend to help you get out of your head.
- “Is this a habit/pattern I want to keep? Do I want to continue binging? Buffering?…”
- “What is going to happen if I continue reinforcing this habit/pattern? What will I create and what will I continue creating if I keep reinforcing it?” (Habit/pattern could be snacking, avoiding a tough conversation, avoiding work you need to do, buying things you don’t need…)
- “What unwanted result will I foster? (Unwanted pounds, a messy house, missed opportunities…)”
You can use this tool alone or in conjunction with the 30-Minute Pause/PAZ I wrote about in my article Try This Tool for Managing Your Strongest Urges and Cravings.
Checking in can take as little as 3-5 minutes.
The key is recognizing you’re feeling agitated, stopping and checking in with yourself. You don’t have to wait until evening. Do so whenever you recognize you’re feeling uneasy.
You’ll start to break the unwanted habits and patterns and create new ones that better serve you.
The more you practice this, the quicker you’ll recognize you’re agitated, and the quicker you can address the cause and find relief.
Not the temporary relief produced by eating or some other checking out pattern. But lasting relief that enables you to feel present, alive, and peaceful.
If these tools I’m offering are new to you, give yourself time to learn to use them.
Trust me. I have not mastered checking in. But I find it incredibly useful. My challenge is to not indulge in regret for not checking in sooner.
Think of it as teaching a child to ride a bike. Would you scold the child when he falls? No. You’d help him to get back up and encourage him to try again until he gets it.
You need to give yourself that same grace and encouragement. You fall and you get back up and try again.
I invite you to join me in practicing checking in instead of checking out.
I know this is hard work. Don’t feel you have to do it alone.
Let me support you. Click here to book a free 30-minute Discovery Call.
May God’s peace and grace be upon you.
Thank you,
Karen
